The Shyamalan Cycle

Long ago, I stopped being disappointed by M. Night Shyamalan movies - the trick was to stop seeing them.

A lot of my friends get excited every time one comes out. I don't blame them. A few years back, I was just like them. That was before I reached enlightenment in the Shyamalan Cycle - I was freed from the endless cycle of terrible movies and high expectations.

It's kind of like reincarnation, on a very superficial level that begs for little to no scrutiny.

Every time a movie comes out, I used to get all excited. I'd wonder what the twist ending might be. And shortly afterward, I'd leave the theater very disappointed. All the twist endings are pretty obvious midway through the opening credits. Either that, or they're so convoluted that no one had any chance of guessing in advance - even looking back, they're still incomprehensible.

Eventually, I realized that he only ever made one good movie - "The Sixth Sense." We were all very surprised by the ending. Since then, it's been failure after failure. But so many of us keep going back. It's like an abusive husband. Trust me - no matter how much he says he loves you, he's going to keep hitting you.

And I, Mr. Shyamalan, am too good for an abusive movie-going relationship with you. Your movies are disappointing. And your last name is so complex it looks wrong even when I looked it up twenty times.

Jerk.