Believe it or not, a relationship in mixed nerd/normal couple goes on without a lot of friction most days.
I've heard horror stories. I've even seen some particularly scary videos on YouTube displaying what happens when relationship dynamics get too badly out of balance. I won't go into great detail, but objects of value are thrown at walls, floors or boyfriends. The result is substantial emotional and physical damage.
Playing video games and watching anime has never been a huge problem for Jess. Besides the fact that she's into these things to some degree, I realize there are very set limits. Some boundaries can be nudged. Others should be avoided entirely. Sometimes I rely on subtle cues. When this fails, cries of, "If you watch one more episode of 'Cowboy Bebop,' I'm going to burn myself!" are enough to get the point across. Nerd behavior - like anything else - does not work in infinite doses.
Much of our bliss is also related to the fact that I stay out of the absolute worst nerd behaviors. Marathon play sessions of video games can be stomached. Collecting cards and figurines is more problematic.
Hence, this is why she doesn't have to worry about me buying giant replica swords and then trying to find a place for them. Much. For now.
As I have only my own situation to go by, I'm a little curious - how do your own relationships (friendship or romantic) play out when one of you is a nerd and the other isn't? Compromise? Combustion?
Do tell.
My wife and I have a quintessential yin-yang relationship. She's beautiful, talented, intelligent and everybody she meets instantly likes her... I make a lot of money, which earns me the right to do whatever I want with whatever is left over after she goes shopping, and spend my limited free-time using/enjoying those things (i.e. playing video games mostly, but also fishing - it's a sickness like run-on sentences and attorneys).
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I think there are many cases that prove this sort of relationship can work out fine. (My own situation shows they're possible - even more amazingly when I make very little money.) My personal feeling is that the key to it is being able to compromise and a healthy dose of tolerance thrown in for good measure.
ReplyDeleteThat's why my girlfriend watches "Say Yes to the Dress" every Friday while I get to play a marathon session of "World of Warcraft." To be honest, it shouldn't work as well as it does. But it does.
Another key is not overdoing it - she's made it very clear that cosplay will earn me dirty looks. Not that I have any interest in that. But that's a limit she's set.