Don't Overdo It...

For those of you who didn't get my clever allusion in the last post, I'll be clearer - I recently asked my girlfriend of three years to marry me.

...Yes, she said yes.

In the lead-up I had a number of really amazing ideas of exactly how to propose. Many of which were incredibly nerdy. The majority of these may have also made her consider her answer much more carefully. Mercifully, I went with the classic "on one knee, asking" tactic.

No doubt, many people think of this as a betrayal of nerd ideals. First off, I was in trouble for actually dating a girl. To not propose in an over-the-top nerdy way is essentially blasphemy.

But - lest we forget - here are a few ways of asking that didn't or wouldn't go so well:

1) Mario Hacking - Several people have hacked their old "Mario" games to show marriage proposals in coins or blocks. I've seen three outcomes. One went okay. Another, the girl got pissed. The third, most hilariously, ended with the girl not noticing. Obviously, not always the way to go.

2) Pac-Man Hacking - At least one person has hacked his old Atari "Pac-Man" cartridge to pop the question. The problem? He programmed it for level 100. His girlfriend couldn't get past 10. And the icing on the cake? After she was furious he kept pushing her to play, he tried himself and couldn't reach it either.

A failure as a boyfriend and as a nerd.

3) Online Marriage - A nerd inspired his girlfriend to play "World of Warcraft" for a month. This was all a setup to his character eventually kneeling and proposing to hers. Unless your girlfriend is ridiculously into the game, too, this isn't nearly as romantic as you think. Especially with the follow-up that they should be married on the bridge leading into Stormwind.

You know, the secret bridge leading into the most populated city in the game where nobody would ever wander through their ceremony and making a scene.

4) Nerd Comic - As per "Penny Arcade," at least one gamer has proposed through a comic. This is actually pretty cute, assuming your girlfriend enjoys public displays. It's also far cuter if she says yes - otherwise, that would be a pretty devastating way to display your shame forever.

5) All-out Fail - Particularly out-of-touch nerds may get the "clever" idea to dress up as their favorite character and propose that way. To my knowledge, this has never happened. Then again, if I dressed up like Inuyasha and was shot down, I doubt I'd be spreading word around either.

Assuming this ever happened, I'm sure this secret died with the nerd's hopes of marriage.

So, as you can see, romance and nerds don't always mix well. If you've got an idea to pop the question and it seems too nerdy, you may want to reconsider. Like a proposal at a sporting event, it's really best to consider what the girl would think instead of random people on online forums.

A good rule of thumb - if you'd need to beat a video game or watch an entire anime series to understand your proposal, it's not a great idea.

Tech Fails - "MyLife.com"

Now, I'm not normally one to talk about sad but trendy technology fads. Wait. Actually, come to think of it, that's all I do.

The latest piece of failure technology is "MyLife.com" and similar sites. Allegedly, the idea is that you go there and find out all the people from your past who've been looking for you. Who knows? Maybe that one guy you liked that one time but didn't like you has started to like you. And maybe he doesn't have Facebook to just find you the easy, normal way.

And romance ensues, or so people who dress up their cats are led to believe.

In reality, I'm not sold. Even if this product works exactly as advertised - and that's a big "if" - the entire idea is a little sad. There's a reason you left your old boyfriends and girlfriends. In all likelihood, this reason has no statute of limitations.

If they left you, you're probably better off. If you left them, of course they were pining after you. You don't need an online service to tell you these things. And you certainly don't need an online service to tell stalkers your associated addresses, which I've heard the site does.

Your nights will probably be a lot more pleasant without the thought that a guy you stood up ten years ago knows where you live.

Aside from all these negatives, think of the how this works. An old flame goes looking for you. You then join a site that tells you they were looking for you. How do you broach that conversation to them? "I see you were obsessing over me. Well, I was obsessing over you. Do you like coffee? Do you like awkwardness? Great. How's this Thursday?"

I think online dating can work. I do. But something about playing "stalker tag" doesn't exactly sound like a romance novel in the works. To sum up, if you'd hide the story of how you met someone from your grandchildren, it's probably not worth doing.

I realize it's a little one-sided to review the system without trying it. But I don't have to. Realizing people from my past were searching for me wouldn't make me happy. It would creep me out. And it would make me wonder why my stalkers weren't tech-saavy enough to use Facebook. And what they were dressing their cats like.

Of course, if the site has ever personally resulted in a long marriage and at least two and a half children for any of you, I'd be delighted to be proved wrong.

Nerdsgiving 2010!

Nerdsgiving went off without a hitch again this year. It was a time of fun, festivity and tolerance towards niche entertainment media such as anime, manga and video games. Judging by the blank expressions of the people who just read this paragraph, I feel I should explain.

Although I suspect its origins are much earlier, my girlfriend and I recently started celebrating Nerdsgiving last year. It's the one time of the year where we come together to do overly nerdy activities, no matter how weird they may be. For example, last year we watched the entire anime series "Akikan." Besides the fact that it was only in English subtitles, the plot involved fighting girls who transformed to and from cans of soda by being kissed for the purposes of determining whether aluminum or steel cans were superior.

That's not even a joke. That's the real plot summary of that series. But it does nicely illustrate my point - no matter how nerdy the anime, nothing is off-limits on Nerdsgiving.

In my relationship, I feel it's good exercise in compromise. Even if there are occasional scuffles over what we're watching on television, there are times when you just have to give up the remote. In mixed nerd and normal couples, there has to be a decent balance between video games and "Say Yes to the Dress."

Though, for the record, having a "Say Yes to the Dress" RPG would make everyone a lot happier.

This year, Jess and I enjoyed a marathon of science fiction movies and more mainstream anime. My eyes were a bit too tired to be reading through English subtitles. Not to mention, I think I had a hope we could watch something weird enough to top "Akikan." Sadly, as far as I know, nothing exists.

In any case, I wanted to bring the holiday to everyone's attention. For those interested in partaking in the festivities next year, all you need is a little junk food and some anime to watch. It traditionally occurs the weekend after Thanksgiving. It may span one or more days, depending on your personal tolerance and sleeping habits (or lack thereof).

So have fun, and Happy Nerdsgiving!

A Tool of a Thousand Uses...

Believe it or not, a relationship in mixed nerd/normal couple goes on without a lot of friction most days.

I've heard horror stories. I've even seen some particularly scary videos on YouTube displaying what happens when relationship dynamics get too badly out of balance. I won't go into great detail, but objects of value are thrown at walls, floors or boyfriends. The result is substantial emotional and physical damage.

Playing video games and watching anime has never been a huge problem for Jess. Besides the fact that she's into these things to some degree, I realize there are very set limits. Some boundaries can be nudged. Others should be avoided entirely. Sometimes I rely on subtle cues. When this fails, cries of, "If you watch one more episode of 'Cowboy Bebop,' I'm going to burn myself!" are enough to get the point across. Nerd behavior - like anything else - does not work in infinite doses.

Much of our bliss is also related to the fact that I stay out of the absolute worst nerd behaviors. Marathon play sessions of video games can be stomached. Collecting cards and figurines is more problematic.

Hence, this is why she doesn't have to worry about me buying giant replica swords and then trying to find a place for them. Much. For now.

As I have only my own situation to go by, I'm a little curious - how do your own relationships (friendship or romantic) play out when one of you is a nerd and the other isn't? Compromise? Combustion?

Do tell.