Monster Hunter: Mysteries

If swords in video games get any bigger, I'm going to start having trouble seeing my character.

I realize it's somewhat hypocritical. After all, one of my favorite games ever is "Final Fantasy VII." But the characters carrying ridiculously large swords there were also genetically modified to have superhuman strength. Also, that game had magic, so that can be used as an excuse for anything.

In Monster Hunter Tri, the one thing they get right is the consequences of swinging a huge sword. If you don't hit your target, it will bury itself in a small crater in the ground. You can then struggle to lift it out...probably after being beat around by monsters for a minute or two.

And for the record, that character in the comic could have just as well been a male. Male or female, I don't think anyone could lug around sharpened metal clubs the size of another human being. The only people who could do that are those strongmen who can throw compact cars behind them into a third-story window. Those guys are ridiculous.

Ironically, being a strongman would explain why character is flexing so much...

Personally, I'd like to see a return to reality in video game weaponry. I mean, short of realizing swords can't cut through plate armor. Otherwise, games would completely suck.

But things aren't likely to change soon. After all, gigantic swords are as much a staple of the modern RPG as random encounters. Which brings me to my follow-up point - when you're getting rid of unrealistically huge swords, also ditch the random fights.

Oh, and cliche cat-eared characters who say "nya" at the end of each sentence can go away, too.

Video Game Lessons: Theft

We learn quite a few lessons from playing video games - almost all of them horrible.

Among these lessons is the surprisingly vague concept of "ownership." In the real world, people own things in their homes. In video games, homes are just storage places to keep the hero's loot.

In a lot of cases, it's "no harm - no foul." There's nothing wrong with picking a loose herb or two off the ground. After all, no one was using it anyway. But the line gets iffy when you start looting graves. And the lesson gets worse when you realize all the coolest equipment is from the oldest and most sacred graves.

Things only get worse in towns. Sure, the hero will occasionally buy something and support the local economy. For the most part, though, it's just a matter of wandering through people's unlocked homes (which is already trespassing) to find stuff you want. In life or death situations, you might argue the end justifies the means, but still.

Link was a particularly bad offender. Not only did he steal stuff, but a lot of it was right in sight of the homeowners. And, in the worst cases, he'll steal their stuff, hold it above his head so everyone can see it and then have musical fanfare playing. That's theft with a touchdown dance at the end.

I'm not really sure what to make of "Resident Evil" games. I mean, it's a zombie disaster and whoever is still living deserves the guns and stuff. Then again, how carefully do you really check to see if there are still survivors? If it were me, I'd just be finding stuff I wanted in houses and taking it. Because I seriously think your high-end DVD player is a key for a puzzle. Somewhere. Probably.

Then again, if there's a zombie disaster, I'm probably locking myself in the bathroom and pointing a shotgun at the door for a week - I might be a bit too timid for looting.

What do you think - is video game "looting" right or wrong?

A Tool of a Thousand Uses...

Believe it or not, a relationship in mixed nerd/normal couple goes on without a lot of friction most days.

I've heard horror stories. I've even seen some particularly scary videos on YouTube displaying what happens when relationship dynamics get too badly out of balance. I won't go into great detail, but objects of value are thrown at walls, floors or boyfriends. The result is substantial emotional and physical damage.

Playing video games and watching anime has never been a huge problem for Jess. Besides the fact that she's into these things to some degree, I realize there are very set limits. Some boundaries can be nudged. Others should be avoided entirely. Sometimes I rely on subtle cues. When this fails, cries of, "If you watch one more episode of 'Cowboy Bebop,' I'm going to burn myself!" are enough to get the point across. Nerd behavior - like anything else - does not work in infinite doses.

Much of our bliss is also related to the fact that I stay out of the absolute worst nerd behaviors. Marathon play sessions of video games can be stomached. Collecting cards and figurines is more problematic.

Hence, this is why she doesn't have to worry about me buying giant replica swords and then trying to find a place for them. Much. For now.

As I have only my own situation to go by, I'm a little curious - how do your own relationships (friendship or romantic) play out when one of you is a nerd and the other isn't? Compromise? Combustion?

Do tell.

Hopefully, my enemies are stupid...

This is based on a future true story, so hopefully my girlfriend will be ready when the time comes.

If there's one thing I can't enough of, it's over-sized swords in anime and video games. The only downside is that the replicas are so horribly unwieldy. I suppose I could always implant myself with Jenovah cells like they did in the game to become a super soldier, but I seem to recall there were some side effects...

And not, like, those harmless headache-type things. I mean, like psychosis. And extremely spiky gelled hair.

Oh, and there's a poll up. What do you want to see more of on the blog? Please answer to the right.

Comic 4: Lost in Translation

Mixed nerd/normal couples face daily struggles like this.