Last time I got injured, it was while cooking. That made me feel like a bit of an idiot. Tonight, I proved that cooking isn't the simplest thing I can do and hurt myself.
Turns out, I can't even walk without serious injury.
While walking down the sidewalk earlier today, I lost my balance and fell over. Granted, there was a dog who got herself tangled in my legs, but that doesn't make it sound that much better. So I'm changing my story. Earlier tonight, I was hit by a car. With teeth. And it was on fire.
Luckily, there are no broken bones or anything. I just have a nasty scrape on both my knees and hands. And I also hit my jaw on the sidewalk. Somehow, I managed to involve that many parts of my body with the impact. The only way it could have been worse is if I'd also hit the back of my head, too.
Since then, I've been taking it easy and playing video games. Of course, it's always a great way to relax and unwind. But as my character was hit in the face with an axe and slowly regenerated by just standing there, I have to admit I was a little jealous. It must be nice to recover from any form of damage within a few minutes by sitting down and eating bread.
I'd probably trade being real for the ability to mend wounds without bandages and stinging pain from rubbing alcohol - reality is overrated anyway.
Miraculously, my jeans did behave much like video game armor. They mitigated a good amount of damage. Which is nice, but when you say it out loud, your girlfriend will roll her eyes at you and sigh.
Trust me.
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