Monster Hunter - Resolutions

(Note: As Deviljho is enormous and very detailed, the picture had to be exceptionally large for this post.)

As the pictures are quite large already, I'll keep this fairly short.

Once again, it's a New Year. For many of us, that means making resolutions. For most of those people, it also means failing them.

But that's not my point today, so I won't digress.

Unlike people, video game characters are incapable of change. This means that whether they want to shed a little holiday weight, cut down on the gambling or just try something new everyday, they have to stay the same. To help, I've decided to write their resolutions for them.

Link (Legend of Zelda):
Consider a new wardrobe. And not just different colors. I mean, like, something non-tunic. I'd address the hoarding and thievery, but one step at a time, I suppose.

Kirby:
Eat less. Or throw up less. I'm willing to settle for either.

Sonic the Hedgehog:
It would probably be cute if I said something about slowing down and enjoying life, but really, I'd just like him to stop starring in games that suck.

All Cat People with Irritating Voices:
Die.

Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII):
Stop being such a wishy washy crybaby. Seriously. How can someone who carries such an enormous sword whine so much about having to fight?

Well, I think that pretty well covers it. As I was aiming at keeping this post short, I'll stop here. As I've also forgotten a few hundred video game characters, I might also come back to this in another column.

In other site news, I'll soon be adding a dedicated "Monster Hunter" section for their own comics. I've also received requests for a "Dorktionary" to clarify confusing nerd terms. As I didn't come up with the name for that and am furious that someone else gave me the idea, I'll say no more on it for now.

In other, other news, you might be amused if you check the staff page and read the adjusted titles under each of the staff member's names.